When to start wedding planning?

Everyone says to enjoy your engagement before plunging into planning. But depending on the type of person you are wedding planning can be like quick sand. I told myself that I would give myself at least a month to really enjoy being engaged before starting in on the planning.

But then these top three things kept reoccurring

1. "Congratulations! So... have you thought about when the wedding will be?"
Problem: Literally, these conversations started less than an hour after I was engaged. And I get it. People find out your engaged, they are excited and they want to keep the conversation call rolling. But when you constantly get asked, its easy to start doing research on which dates would be good possible wedding dates and then all of a sudden you are looking at banquet halls and vendors and BOOM. Suddenly you went from newly engaged to borderline bridezilla.
How to fix/avoid this:  Change the topic back to the engagement. I am blessed enough to have one of the most incredible proposal stories, so it was easy for me to say "Well we aren't sure yet, but did I tell you how long he has been hiding my ring?!" Bring up little details so that way the person you're conversing with still feels as if they kept the ball rolling and you get to buy yourself more time.

2. I'll just peak at pinterest/theknot/weddingbee...just for general ideas
Problem: Maybe you just started a private wedding board on pinterest because you like wedding things, or a "dream" wedding board because well ONE day you planned to be married. Or maybe you just became engaged and you want to see what the big deal with theknot is and you create your account. Fast forward a few hours and now you have hundreds of ideas and at the moment they all seem possible so it only makes sense to discuss most of them with your beau. And then the real problem becomes either the people who follow you on social media seeing these pins and ideas and telling others what you're planning. Example: I made a fourth of july wedding board simply because it seemed like a fun idea. I get a call a week later from my great auntie asking me why I didn't tell her I picked a wedding date because its "all over the internet" and people are already planning their summer around it.
How to fix/avoid this: If you simply cannot resist the wedding websites early on in the engagement, make them private. It sounds selfish at first, but as you progress in your wedding planning you learn the less people know about your wedding plans, the easier it makes your life. I was shocked when my little 80+ year old auntie brought up my pinterest board because I never thought my relatives paid that close of attention to what I posted. I will admit that I have made a few blunders with telling too much to people early on in my planning. Early on in our brainstorming we were looking at traditional church weddings, but as my fiance and I started to lay things out, we decided to go in another direction and that change really threw some people off and actually upset them. A wedding represents one of the most intimate moments you'll have with the person you love, so why not take things slow and close to the chest.

3. I've had this planned out my entire life, if I just hurry up and get it all done I can enjoy being engaged after. 
Problem: You have been talking about your wedding since before you can remember. And you may have even had a lot "planned" out before you even met your better half, an insert groom here wedding plan. Maybe you are even like me and had a wedding spread sheet with real numbers, names and outlines done before you were even engaged. But you learn pretty quickly, that a wedding really shouldn't be planned in less than a month (unless absolutely necessary). The planning is really part of the fun and rushing just leads to quick decisions you may not be able to change later.
How to fix/avoid this: I wish someone told me to start over with a blank slate. I went into planning with my spreadsheets, pinterest dream boards and high expectations and blindsided my fiance who still was on a high from pulling off our epic engagement. He lovingly told me his was overwhelmed and then it hit me. It's his wedding too. We started planning with laying out a budget and making a top 3 list of what mattered to the both of us. Even though I may not be doing everything I laid out when I was 18, I believe by taking our time with the planning has made this all more fun. The current problem we are facing is the wedding checklists, because we are both the kind of people who look at those as a challenge. There are days when we have to talk about it being unrealistic for me to make and store all of my centerpieces now since we will be moving before the wedding.


I recommend taking at least a month to just enjoy yourselves as a newly engaged couple. The wedding timeline can wait! As I said early on planning is like quick sand, you may not even realize how deep you're getting into planning until someone calls you out on it. And when you start planning, start with the budget and be realistic with it. This way when you sit and make your priority list you can really focus on needs vs wants.

Start it right and have fun with it!
--the southside bride

Changing things up a Bit

Hey Lovlies,

I'm changing things up a bit since I really am going to become a Southside bride in July!

From here on out, I am going to try to write more about my current experiences instead of just mash ups and advice. (but since I love making mash ups, I might throw one in every now and then)

I want to try to help others who are tired of reading the same old tips on how to save money on your wedding day. Some of us just realistically can't have a wedding under 50 people, or even 150 for that matter, so all of the "weddings under 10K" blogs, books and websites don't apply to us. What if the most important things on your and your significant other's priority list is being surrounded by the people you love?

We are inviting 200+ to our wedding because we have a ton of people who we truly love and want there on our wedding day. We are saving money in lots of other ways and I hope my future posts help give the bride with the big guest list and small pocketbook hope.

Let's walk this path together!
<3 thesouthsidebride

Wedding Photo Pose checklist

Thanks to sites like pinterest it's now incredibly easy to find and share ideas for wedding pictures. But sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming and what if you forget to do one in the moment? Here's some easy tips to make sure you get the perfect smiles you want.
1. If you're still looking for a photographer, pick out 10~15 poses and bring then with you when you interview them. You'd be surprised at how picky some photographers are when it comes to things like using your own props, sparklers our different camera effects. If they seem hesitant, move on. They consider your wedding to be an expansion of their work, so their own judgments on color, angles and poses can outweigh your wants.
2. If you have a photographer already, print out a medium sized checklist of poses you want. Remember a photographer will take hundreds of pictures, so a list of 20+ really isn't crazy. Plus with a larger list, if a few are skipped do to time or the photographers bias then at least you have a good chunk of pictures you like in the mix.
3. Try for a good mix. Some people are strictly traditional or only candid but most of us are somewhere in between. Even if you are leaning one way over the other, be sure to have just a few shots of the other side of the spectrum. This way when you're showing off your pictures everyone looking at them will be pleased and you will have a more complete collection of moments from the wedding.
4. Do something fun. Be it sexy, just for the two of you shots or silly faces with the moms. There is something about staged entertainment that will leave you laughing for years to come.
5. Let the bridal party pick a few poses. These people are the ones who have probably seen the best and worst of you and your other half. Shots showing off your relationship with them will surely be part of the favorites

Smile big
-the southside bride

Finding a Dress for the Bridesmaids

The time of having every one of top ladies wearing the same exact dress is over. Our best friends come in a variety of shapes and sizes and asking them all to wear the gorgeous strapless above the knee dress isn't just unrealistic but a little unfair. You should want everyone at your wedding to feel as beautiful as you do.
So what's the best way to go about it?

1. Picking a color and fabric

This is one is the most popular options for when you still want everyone to look alike but respect the fact that everyone has their owns tastes. You could take this a step further by asking them all to stay around the same length too and a lot of people who realize right away that everyone is in a slightly different dress.

2. Sticking with traditional

If you ask a younger girl to draw a wedding party she would probably put all the bridesmaids in simple but elegant floor length dresses with some sort of strappy top. This look has always been a staple for bridemaid dresses because all body types can wear a simple gown like this.

3. Let them choose

Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that despite being this be the biggest day of your life, it is still just a single day in the rest of your new life with both your husband and the girls at your side. Why not let them pick out their own dress to rock out on the sideline of your wedding day? You could of course ask them to keep a general color scheme in mind if that's important to you, but you might be surprised how happier a girl is in her own clothes.

4. Everyday Dresses

This kind of goes along with letting them choose. I LOVE the maid of honor dress I wore in my best friend's wedding this past August. It was a latte colored peplum dress and I rocked it. But, no matter how hard I try, I just can't find another occasion to wear it too without looking like I just came from a wedding. So gather the girls and hit the mall. I actually recommend chain retail stores for an idea like this (JCP, Macys, etc) because if one girl finds an awesome dress in her size, its more likely that you could order the other bridemaid sizes online. This also is sometimes a cheaper alternative for your bridemaids who are already investing a lot in your wedding.





Now if having them all wear the same dress is really important to you that is FINE. To be honest, that is what is probably going to be happening with my own wedding because I'm so darn picky. But I love the idea of having options and pretending I'm not as much of a perfectionist as I am.

Happy Shopping
--the southside bride